Miller Report

Casey Anthony Trial

2011-07-08T21:53:00.000-07:00

Were you as obsessed as I was and still am with this fascinating case?

Don't you wish it would go on and on forever?

Are you dreaming of Nancy Grace?

Are you actually starting to like Vinnie Politan?

Do you have a theory of how Casey did it?

Do you have a theory of why the jury fucked up?

Are you all a-Twitter over #CaseyAnthony?

Me too!

Don't Take Your Daughters to Work Day

2011-04-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

DON’T TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY,

Especially if You Work at WalMart

4/28/11

Today marks 19 years since the first “Take Our Daughters to Work Day.”

In the early ‘80’s the womens’ movement was around 10 years old and many former housewives had entered the workplace. The idea (dreamt up by Ms. Mag) was for moms to show their daughters that they were MORE than just ass-wiping Mom-slaves; that they were also respected members of the business community. At least that was the Kool Aid they were selling to little girls at the time. But in the real world, as well as in Hollywood where I worked, it was still a man’s world, despite the presence of a few extraordinary and lucky women. Back then, Tinseltown still looked like that movie “9 to 5.”

Is it still a man’s world? What has changed? The economy tanked so no one has a good job. They changed the name of the annual event to “Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day,” so it’s no longer a mother-daughter thing. Now its mission is diluted and vague. Now it’s just a workday like all other workdays except nothing gets done.

On the positive side, the best and brightest white women are now making 10 cents more than they made 9 years ago! That’s a big 80 cents to the man’s dollar. And why am I not dancing a jig over that 10 cent gain? Well. How long should a woman wait for EQUAL FUCKING PAY, forgodsakes! That’s why I’m publishing the following rant from 2002. I’m sorry to say it’s still relevant.

DON’T TAKE YOUR DAUGHTERS TO WORK

Don’t Even Get Out Of Bed

Karyl Miller

It happens every April, just like death and taxes: Take Our Daughters to Work Day. As a writer on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” I was one of the new “career women,” writing about one of the new career women. While my mother's generation thought being a secretary was a stepping stone to marrying the boss, my generation thought being a secretary was a stepping stone to being the boss; Mary set that standard.

Right after my MTM experience, I won an Emmy for writing on Lily Tomlin’s special. More women won writing Emmys in 1974 than ever before in the history of the Television Academy. With such an auspicious start, could equality have been far behind? Apparently, yes. A recent report released by the Writer’s Guild of America revealed that over the past quarter of a century there have been minimal gains for women writers. The best year for women writers in Hollywood is still 1949 (when most were writing partners with their husbands)! Scary.

Today, a white woman in her peak earning years makes only 70 cents for every dollar earned by a man. I call these “gyno dollars.” So, why would a secretary take her daughter to work? To show her that despite the media spin that tells the girl she can be all she can be, and high faulting’ job titles like “Executive Assistant,” offices are still configured in the missionary position – you know – men on top, women on the bottom.

Maybe we should warn our daughters that someone is always trying to tell us we’ve come a long way, baby. The truth is the national Anti-Affirmative Action Movement is making opportunities for women disappear, and the media calls this “ending preferences.” Isn’t being a (white) man a preference?

Then there’s harassment. Even the word is STILL a mystery to men. Is the accent on the “ha,” or the “ass?” Ever since the Anita Hill Inquisition, we've known our men just don't get it. Now men think if they so much as hold the elevator for us, we'll sue their pants off.

Thirty years ago after feminist author Gloria Steinem remarked, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle,” millions of women got divorced and started careers where the sky was supposedly the limit. Could she have predicted that today an unmarried woman is five hundred times more likely to die in poverty than a married woman? So, despite our ambitions, maybe our mothers were right: the job of wife is still the best job most women can get. Even Steinem eventually got married.

So, this year on “Take Our Daughters to Work Day,” let's not show up for work at all! Let's not even get out of bed. Maybe it would benefit working women more if we just said no to the gyno dollars and let the whole damn office, movie studio, restaurant, store,
school, hospital or factory fall apart without us.

And after a day spent not taking our daughters to work, let’s get together on our porches and in our back yards and light up our barbecues and hibachis. Once those fires are crackling, let’s forget about making dinner for the family.

Instead, let's re-enact an indelible moment from feminist folklore: let's take off our tops and toss our thick, petroleum-based, foam-filled push-up bras onto the flames! Let them snap, crackle, and pollute! Let a bonfire of the Wonderbras send out a toxic smoke signal that says, "We're raising a stink because we want the financial equality we were promised years ago and we want it today!"

Presidential Blow Jobs

2011-04-07T16:21:00.000-07:00

Paraphrasing CNN Breaking News, I just heard, “A friend of President Obama tried to buy a blow job and failed.” Not to be critical, but when the last Democratic president wanted a blowjob, he got a blowjob. This Democratic president was once removed from the blowjob and still couldn’t score. And who is surprised? Do you see where I’m going with this? After he paid the money and gave concessions, they punked him. It was a sting operation. He was set up. He knew should never have trusted that whore. Turns out they never intended to suck his or his friend’s liberal socialist dick anyway.

Ferarro RIP

2011-03-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

I'm not doing 'toons at the moment, but I couldn't let this death go by

without a comment. Who can forget that thrilling moment in 1984 when

Geraldine Ferarro was nominated for vice president by Walter Mondale?

She gave women hope. Yes there were some missteps more recently,

but that doesn't take away her place in the history of women in politics.

Kennedy Inauguration - 50 Years Today

2011-01-20T18:55:00.000-08:00

John Kennedy Inaugural , 50 Years Today

by Karyl Miller

1.20.2011

50 years ago today John Kennedy was sworn in as our knight in shining armor. I was in high school, but I would have voted for him if I could have. For those of you not fortunate to have been there suffice to say, Kennedy was the white Obama. We Democrats just loved him. He was young, he was smart. He was a gorgeous man with a gorgeous family. He shared our values. We just loved him.

50 years have gone by and I STILL can’t watch Kennedy videos without getting as lump in my throat. I remember watching Kennedy’s Inaugural speech – we were so thrilled. So much hope, so alive. And then, the opposite. I realize now I will never get over the loss of Kennedy. Every Kennedy image reminds me of what might have been and brings me back to that horrific day when we were hearing the impossible. “The president’s been shot.” I was thinking Not OUR president. They must mean some president from some backwards country where they’re always overthrowing each other. Not here. We don’t shoot presidents in America.

I was a just-out-of-high-school showroom girl at a wholesale hat company in the legendary garment center in New York. The switchboard girl said “The president’s been shot.” I thought that maybe they meant our boss, Mr. Abramson, the president of the hat company - whom I hated, but not that much. Someone hated Mr. Abramson even more than I did? At least that’s what I told myself when they sent me to the bank to make the deposits.

The garment center was jammed, as it always was back when we still manufactured clothing right there in NYC USA. This was the hub. The joint was jumping. Trucks were honking and double parking and backing in and out of driveways. People are always yelling at each other and flipping each other off. Sidewalks were teaming with Puerto Ricans navigating racks and racks of clothing between the salesmen, the masses, the 6-foot models all painted up and scurrying to their next job.

1407 Broadway was the Mecca of it all. There was always a line up of chauffeured black Cadillac limousines circling the building waiting for their owners – the top designers who worked there. As I got closer I realized every chauffeur had his door open and a crowd gathered around, trying to hear the radio. If you accidentally made eye contact with a stranger, you exchanged worried looks. Everyone was wishing Please don’t let it be true. The people closest to the radios passed the info back to us. I heard what sounded like “presidente” in fifty different languages. Then I heard the word “morte,” which I guessed meant the news was very bad indeed.

My heart sank. I had to stop fooling myself about Mr. Abramson. I had to accept the fact that our beloved president John Kennedy was shot and killed. And just when things couldn’t get any worse, they got worse with more and more dying in Vietnam. Then they killed Martin and Bobby – Bam! Bam! Back to back in 60 days. We boomers and beyond had the optimism beat out of us. That’s what happens when they take away your heroes. It's not just Kennedy I mourn today.

***

State of the Union

2011-01-18T16:31:00.000-08:00

Why do I think this "marriage of convenience" for the night

is a bad idea for Dems? Because I'm cynical and believe

Dems will politely hold their applause, rather than

appear self-interested or show-off like. This will

in turn lead to massive flop sweat from our leader.

Just what we DON'T need.

Mt. Soledad Cross

2011-01-13T09:23:00.000-08:00

You're probably not surprised that I oppose the

Mt. Soledad cross, and it's not just because I'm

Jewish. It is not a "Latin" cross, it's a Christian

cross. It violates of the separation of church and state.

The group defending it is an evangelical legal group, NOT a military group.

If it's really about the honoring America and the military,

here is my suggestion: remodel it.

Tucson Murders

2011-01-09T19:33:00.000-08:00

Friends I'm sending this out because I hear constant FALSE EQUIVALENCY spouted from the media for the past 24 hours. It is NOT the Democrats who have been arming themselves or suggesting using the 2nd amendment against the opposition. Here's a copy of the Palin website that she took down yesterday AFTER the murders. ( There was also a candidate who ran against Giffords in Nov. who had a rifle in his lap and his ad suggested she be shot.) I Twittered copies of both websites yesterday. The Glenn Beckers, teabaggers and birthers have been stoking the fires. It was only a matter of time that some Travis Bickle type got the message, picked up a gun and took action. But don't blame it on the Dems! Stop with the fucking false equivalency! Karyl

See the entire deleted Palin website! Sign the petition!
http://act.credoaction.com/campaign/palin_violence/

Pelosi Job Hunt

2011-01-06T13:07:00.000-08:00

I wonder if an unemployed woman would have gotten the

amazing reception that the Golden Voice guy got in the last 48 hours.

Nothing against him, of course.

Tax Cuts for The Rich

2010-12-15T23:57:00.000-08:00

When I saw that frantic school board lady swing her handbag

in the general direction of the perp's arm instead of his face,

it immediately made me think of the Democrats being held hostage

by the Repubs.

This was the hardest drawing ever. Maybe I'm out of practice

but drawing a hand with a gun in it took me hours, as did the two figures.

Boehner Cries Again

2010-12-13T20:09:00.000-08:00

Boehner scares me. He looks like an ad for Cymbalta.

His wife says he's going through "an emotional time."

And people accuse Omama of being a pussy? What's more pussy-ish

than sobbing your eyes out on national TV? Will the people who accused

Tom Cruise and Howard Dean of being over-the-top please shut up?

All Democrats Want For Christmas

2010-12-07T22:57:00.000-08:00

After my first Obama disappointment ( Rick Warren delivering
inaugural prayer ), a promised myself I wasn't going to do any negative
Obama cartoons because 1. I don't want to give the Repubs any ammo for their nasty,
dishonest, cynical, meanspirited, full metal jacket, anti-Obama campaign and ...
2. Obama is STILL WAY, WAY better than any Republican.
But with all due respect, Obama is no businessman.
As far as deal-making, he had the wrong Emmanuel brother .
Hollywood agent Ari would have been better .
Worst thing I can say: Honeymoon's over.

New Airport Screenings

2010-11-18T21:42:00.000-08:00

NOW we're talking inspection we can believe in!

It's hard to get five people in a picture this small. Can you tell what

Superman is seeing with his X-ray eyes? Heard about the Chertoff -

wiener- measuring machine link? Shameful!

http://www.politicolnews.com/chertoff-lobbyists-and-airport-scanners/

Think this expensive taxpayer- funded airport bullshit is protecting us? Think again.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/11/the-things-he-carried/7057/3/

I welcome your comments.

Bush Library

2010-11-16T14:48:00.000-08:00

Them of us what consider Bush 2 B a lowbrow, hearin' the

words "Bush" and "library" in the same sentence, well, excuse me but I gotta chuckle.

TSA Improved Scanning

2010-11-15T16:50:00.000-08:00

Now there's absolutely no place to hide your dope. But seriously,

don't you think the average bomber would hide his bomb in his butt?

If they're not doing what my 'toon shows, the TSA is just jiving

us about their "security."

Bush Book

2010-11-09T16:35:00.000-08:00

Our second dumbest president.

Tea Party hearts Republicans

2010-11-03T16:57:00.000-07:00

PICK a captian or add one:

1. Politics make strange bed-fellows.

2. If you want to dance, you gotta pay the piper.

3. You better dance with the one what brung ya.

4. Who's the whore now, huh?

Stomper Seeks Apology

2010-10-27T21:52:00.000-07:00

Rand Paul's aid added insult to injury by seeking an

apology from the Move-On.Org Grrl he stomped.

Gave new meaning to the word chutzpah, didn't it?

Puke isn't that easy to draw and I had no room

for the stink wiggles that can add so much comedy.

Campaign Ad App

2010-10-26T15:46:00.000-07:00

I voted. Please, if you're a techie, hear my plea and start writing

that code ASAP! Americans will LOVE U!

Obama's Halloween

2010-10-25T10:29:00.000-07:00

One of the things that makes America great is that you can draw the

prez like this, burn the flag or salute it! Whatever makes you

happy. With all the tea party signs depicting Obama as Hitler,

my first idea was of him viewing the tea party signs and

saying "Now that just ruins my Halloween idea" or

"NOW what am I gonna wear for Halloween?"

Clarence Thomas Bedroom Cam

2010-10-22T16:52:00.000-07:00

Yeah. I love this subject! Love digging up the whole Thomas-Hill

did-he-or-didn't-he controversy.

Like you, I've endlessly pondered what drove Thomas'

wife to make that ridiculous and dangerous phone call.

How desperate/crazy/irrational/fool-hardy

must Ginny have felt to leave Hill that message?

Here's my guess.

O'Donnell's Clown-stitution

2010-10-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

A Woman Eats A Banana at Her Own Peril, Even in the Nicest Offices

2010-10-21T13:32:00.000-07:00

A WOMAN EATS A BANANA AT HER OWN PERIL, EVEN IN THE NICEST OFFICES

I know most of my men-friends on this list are going to say, "Karyl let it go with the Clarence Thomas thing already. What's done is done."

But I say no because the damage is being done TO WOMEN every day by the conservative-leaning Supreme Court and Thomas’ presence on it.

Thomas should be fired based on his lying to get the job. How do I know?

The Facts: Detailed quotes attributed to Thomas. Even a writer couldn’t make that shit up. “Pubic hair on my coke can?” “Long Dong Silver?” A dignified prof didn’t invent that.

Thomas had other victims - women the court refused to let testify. They could have proved Thomas had a history of crude, annoying and unwanted office flirtations.

Full Disclosure: I've been "harassed" at every male-dominated job I have ever had, but my generation didn't have a word for it. We just called it "work."

In 1976 we thought endless blowjob jokes, etc. were the price a woman paid for being lucky enough to have a man's job. Some paid with the act itself and still do. It just depends on the manners and ethics of the boss and how desperate she was/is for that job.

The fact that Hill didn’t report Thomas’ behavior years earlier makes sense because she probably wrote him off as a silly boy and moved on with her life (as most women do.) THEN the Dems recruited her (from among the group he had harassed) in order to try to stop a conservative train wreck the Supreme Court has become. Remember those hearings with those clueless senators? Didn’t they make you mad?

I think Hill took one for the team and she did it with great dignity then and now.

Lastly, what's with Supreme Court judges becoming their own bosses once they're safely in office for life? That's ridiculous. It assumes their job makes them saintly and immune to greed and corruption.

New Rules: 1. Supreme Court judges jobs are for 6 years only. 2. The public (not the judges!) will decide which cases are conflict-of-interest and when the judge MUST recues himself.

PERFECT EXAMPLE : Secret money rolling into Thomas’ wife’s tea party group (one check was for $500,000!) PAC is a direct benefit of the Courts’ Citizen’s United Decision. This is an obvious complete conflict-of-interest and another reason Thomas should be fired!

Am I right? Write me! Send a comment on-line.
Karyl

Judge Thomas' Wife Demands Apology?!

2010-10-20T13:42:00.000-07:00

19 years have gone by and Thomas' wife is still mad? Well so am I! Anita Hill
spoke for harassed working women everywhere and she got shafted by clueless
male politicians who just didn't get it. The result is a barely competent right-wing
Supreme Court justice with a lifetime appointment who is married to a
Tea Party activist! Heaven help us!

Miners Rescued

2010-10-12T23:15:00.000-07:00

I'm sure there will be a slew of miner cartoons in the next few days.
My hubby Jack helped with this one. Anybody miss that jerk Sanchez? Not me.
PS
Hard hats are really hard to draw, harder than cowboy hats but easier than
ball caps. Caves aren't easy either .
Karyl

Jerry Brown Called Whitman a Whore

2010-10-08T23:44:00.000-07:00

Steampunk handbag

2010-10-05T20:41:00.000-07:00

Just couldn't bear to say goodbye to
this beat-up beige handbag, so I
painted it. Jack created the fake
meter for the Steampunk
look.

Tony Curtis RIP

2010-09-30T16:07:00.000-07:00

First Eddie Fisher and now Tony Curtis (AKA Bernie Schwartz)? Losing two of my childhood crushes, both nice Jewish boys in one week? Oy vey.

I got this at the premiere of The Robe in 1953 at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood. My uncle was a show biz insider, and I was one lucky little girl visiting from Milwaukee. I collected a slew of autographs that night, but Curtis was one of the few that was legible.

Eddie Fisher RIP

2010-09-24T12:40:00.000-07:00

After school my grandma used to drive me to NBC on Sunset and Vine so I could see them film the Eddie Fisher Coke Time show. Afterwards he would flirt with fans.
I was prez of my local fan club. He gave me his tie that day AND I STILL HAVE IT!

Witch ODonnell

2010-09-20T17:15:00.000-07:00

Classic citizen cartoonists conundrum:
The crazier the candidates,
the easier the cartoons!

McDonald's Kills

2010-09-17T15:41:00.000-07:00

Are network news departments going to show a news story about a hard hitting ad put out by PCRM, doctor's group about the grave dangers of fast food and McDonald's in particular? I saw it once this AM and now nothing.

It shows a morgue with a stiff saying "I was Lovin' it." McDonald's is a major sponsor of TV. Let me know if you see this ad or any story about it.

Palin's Meat Dress

2010-09-14T21:18:00.000-07:00

Friends, as I've said before there's nothing I like
more than the conflation of two news stories -
especially when fashion is involved.

Here's my meat dress for Sara Palin branded
with the names of the country's most dangerous,
lying right-wing wing nuts.

BTW meat is NOT easy to draw, especially as
a dress and hat. Stink wiggles aren't easy either.
Or descending flies.

Love your feedback! Karyl

Midterms HEART Korans

2010-09-11T16:47:00.000-07:00

Midterms HEART Koran

How come there’s never a John McCain around when you need him? There are so many John McCains, I’ll have to specify: I’m talking about the voice of reason John McCain who set the old lady straight when she thought incorrectly, that Obama was a Muslim. Where’s that guy? Oh yeah, Midterm elections are only 60 days away. Republicans are in full metal jacket campaign mode. They’re not going to help anyone from our side. In fact, they will hurt us if it helps them. This is why Boehner took forever to answer, when asked if he thought the Koran should be burned and why his answer was so non-committal. The Republican plan is so obvious. Nobody would have to break into Watergate to figure out this strategy. Here it is:

1. Encourage hatred of Muslims. Use a building or a book burning to get your point across: Muslims are dark, mysterious, hate us and are secretly planning to kill us. They already outnumber us and they’re serial breeders.

2. Don’t correct any rumors about Obama being big secret Muslim. (If Muslims are bad and Obama’s one of them – bully for us.) Use Obama’s middle name constantly. You know the truth, but if it gets votes, who cares?

3. Engage Dems in constitutional discussions where they are constantly forced to defend Muslims on national TV.

4. Identify your most gullible followers: i.e.: If they believe Jesus rode on a dinosaur they will believe anything you tell them).

5. Teach them to read.

6. Get these gullible followers to register to vote in the Midterms. Give them a list of the chosen Repub. candidates that they can take into their polling booths.

7. Drive them to the polls and give them a free loaf of bread afterwards.

8. Repubs prevail in Midterms.

9. Repubs in Congress take away all gains by Obama admin – weaken healthcare etc. Repubs ruin everything again (and we let them because Dems are PUSSIES! There, I said it again).
**
We have got to get the truth out there because the naive and ill informed are being exploited for votes by the Christian right. If the Repubs win congress, I dread the future. Dems have got to find voters and get them to the polls. It’s our only hope. I am as scared now as I was before Obama’s election night. My worst fear (after fear that an orange man from Mad Men will be Speaker) is: What if Ruth Bader Ginsberg retires? This is serious. It’s all serious.

Karyl Miller 9/11/10
MillerReport.blogspot.com

Challenge to the Media: Grow a Pair by 9/10

2010-09-08T16:07:00.000-07:00

CHALLENGE TO THE MEDIA, To Grow a Pair by 9/10.
Resolve NOT to broadcast images of any Koran burnings. For once: Turn your backs on the ratings! You cannot on one hand be genuinely worried about the result of broadcasting these extreme images and on the other hand go ahead and broadcast them. Claiming showing it is “in the public’s interest” is a cop out. I implore the news media: Don’t gin up this story. You had the good sense not to broadcast beheadings – Koran burnings are just as incendiary. What a wonderful world it would be if the TV news media got together and agreed to boycott any Koran burnings. Everybody’s unemployed and broke and watching news all day. Everybody is mad at everybody right now. It’s in the public’s best interest to NOT give a hate-mongering wing nut from Florida his own reality show. Hey Media, Got Conscience?

Don’t be responsible for setting off WWIII.

As I type this CNN just broadcast an interview with John Boehner where was asked if the Koran should be burned and he took an eon to answer. In fact, he spaced out. When he finally answered, did he emphatically say, “Of course, no one should ever burn anybodie's bible?” No. Did he appeal to the public to be brotherly toward our fellowman? He did not! He responded with something very wishy washy – which I’m sure encouraged wing nuts everywhere to come out of the woodwork with their matches and video cams. What the fuck?
Karyl Miller 9/8/2010
MillerReport.blogspot.com

Glenn Beck Rally

2010-08-28T11:13:00.000-07:00

Probably wrong to include myself in this toon, but since there are no rules on the WEB I'm doin' it. In case you missed it, Beck's message was filled with vague generalizations about USA forefathers, soldiers and Christian beliefs. There were no signs allowed and not a tea-bag decorated hat was seen.

Dr. Laura

2010-08-23T17:16:00.000-07:00

After she barked the N word at a black caller 11 TIMES she claimed
NOT to be a racist. Isn't (a white person) using the word so easily
evidence a person IS?

I really worked on the art this time. Tried to portray Laura's
boxy face and beady too-close-together eyes.

To Mosque or NOT to Mosque?

2010-08-20T16:09:00.000-07:00

In the 10 days since I posted this toon, the media monster has been broadcasting an endless parade of opinion givers weighing in on To Mosque or Not to Mosque.   No one seems to NOT have a opinion - except me. I know it's hard to believe if you know me. But as far as the Mosque is concerned: I don't give a shit.   I can't make myself give a shit.  But I wanted to do a cartoon about it.

I always thought it was crazy insane for NYC to build a new taller (!) World Trade Center exactly where the old one was. It's an obvious target.   So I conflated the two ideas and came up with this toon about that.   Hahaha. I thought it was kinda funny.

PS, Just found this toon on Daryl Cagle's blog. Brian Fairrington.
Fabulous drawing on same subject.  But I'm not sure if I get his joke.
Is it the same as mine? Is it a Two-ee. R we saying the same thing?  Post a comment. Let's talk!

President Swims in Gulf

2010-08-14T23:08:00.000-07:00

I just loved this afternoon's photo op. I wonder how many papers will print it Sunday? I'm sure the Repubs don't want any wholesome Kennedy-esque images planted in any voter's minds -
let alone a reminder the spill disaster got fixed faster than anticipated.

I've posted the newspaper headline that inspired it in a box on the 'toon. Does it help or hurt? Write me.

Islamic Center

2010-08-06T23:33:00.000-07:00

Charlie Rangel

2010-08-02T09:25:00.000-07:00

I'm always disappointed whenever a Dem crosses over the line.
Same with when a Jew does it, like Madoff. It's a shonda -
and you can Google that word.

Shirley Sherrod

2010-07-23T18:59:00.000-07:00

Comic- Con Cartoon 2010

2010-07-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

In San Diego City Beat this week (July21 issue), page 16! Yay!

Political Cartoon

2010-05-06T16:18:00.000-07:00

Times Square Bomber

2010-05-05T13:27:00.000-07:00

Maybe I should just turn off the idiot box right now. I already know too much like we spent a billion dollars a year to wand and frisk granny but a Paki born asshole with cash can still buy a last-minute one way ticket to Dubai.

My own theory has less to do with radical politics and more to do with a man not feeling "like a man" after his wife rejects him, plus he can't make his mortgage payments so he goes out and does something huge. Same as star stalkers. They just want their 15 minutes of fame. IMHO

Obama Visits Afghanistan

2010-03-28T17:54:00.000-07:00

First he tackled healthcare Reform! Then he decided F the Repubs, he's going to make recess appointments! And today he's off to Afghanistan! Wow! This man is my hero!

Had a really hard time drawing the teabagger in the foreground. I was also very torn about creating this image in the first place - but isn't that what we're all worrying about - what with these images of senators in cross hairs and threatening messages from the gun-toting fringe?

Love your comments!

HealthCare Bill

2010-03-23T08:07:00.000-07:00

For months I've been wanting to do a toon about the ridiculous Republican rhetoric about the health care bill being "shoved," "crammed," and "jammed" down their throats by the Dems. Now that it's passed, they're at it again.

The next version of the toon is by Jack, which I think is hilarious, but not political. Which do you like?

Palin Bachmann $10,000 Photo OP

2010-03-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin are going to charge $10,000 for an uncoming fund-raiser photo op. MSNBC's Rachel Maddow called for Photoshop versions of said photo, so here's mine.

Karl Rove Book

2010-03-11T07:57:00.000-08:00

I had the hardest time drawing this librarian. The first sketch was the best except she wasn't looking in the customer's direction (still isn't). That led to at least 6 other tries. Did I do what my art teacher told me to do - which was "DON'T DRAW FROM MEMORY! Get a photo from Corbis and copy it." Nope. I think I'll invent a new rule for myself: Don't draw bifocals.

Oscar Fashions

2010-03-09T07:32:00.000-08:00

Is this beneath me?

-30-

Air Traffic Controller Bunning

2010-03-04T06:58:00.000-08:00

I was so sure I had no gag for that nasty creepo Jim Bunning whose NO vote cut benefits for thousands, and then some clueless dad let his
brat run loose in the airport tower... and taa dah!

When two news stories collide, it's an editorial cartoonist's bonanza!

I'm loving all your Emails and comments. Karyl

President Still Smoking

2010-03-02T06:51:00.000-08:00

After his annual physical, it was revealed that Obama was still smoking. I thought it would get more press than it has. Damn that newbee earthquake! Meanwhile the No-To-Everything Repubs are getting mighty annoying.

Cheney's Heart

2010-02-25T06:06:00.000-08:00

I had so much fun with this, mainly because it was easy to draw and also Cheney, like Palin, is a gift that keeps on giving. My other idea as showing how Cheney got his heart attack (which was finding out that 51 Dems had JUST realized they were a majority). Since the cable guy was monopolizing my computer, I resorted to the ancient art colored pencils. Later I Photoshopped the X-ray to show heart was cold.

Health Care Shot

2010-02-23T07:31:00.000-08:00

If Mitch McConnell actually read the president's reasonable HealthCare plan (only 11 pages!), would he be howling like this? Or is this why he's actually howling - because he so wanted the Dems to fail?

DC Job Fair

2010-02-18T06:00:00.000-08:00

Incumbent members of Congress choosing to chuck the whole damn thing seemed like a good area. I certainly wouldn't want the job - especially now. The art is so much less than I hoped, but it's after 10 PM and I'm exhausted. Maybe I should have gone with the BREAKING NEWS: Tiger Woods To Speak Friday! idea.
PS Tuesday's toon "HealthCare Forum" was posted on CNN iReports and yielded a very lively on-line discussion among people who politely disagreed with my progressive POV. I LOVE the internets!

HealthCare Forum

2010-02-16T07:38:00.000-08:00

After Obama's stellar performance fielding questions at the recent Repub. conference, Mitch McConnell has second thoughts about televising the long-promised HealthCare Forum event (because Obama is too goddam reasonable).

Hardest thing = making a gag when the facts are like a gag.

Since the Repubs are acting like children, I went with the kiddie party. The sign is a mouthful, I know - but you try it! My art is lame (That's a cake Pelosi is holding). I hate labelling people, so I omitted the obvious. Thoughts?

Granny's Sex Advice

2010-02-11T08:19:00.000-08:00

SPECIAL VALENTINE’S MESSAGE FROM GRANNY

Before I begin doling out sex advice, I’ll state my qualifications: One, I’m experienced. This will be my 50th year of having sex (not continuously). Two: Granny is no prude – I invented the lap dance in the front seat of a 1957 Chevy at the Olympic Drive-In. Later I was a foot soldier during the sexual revolution. I got crabs at Woodstock so that the next generation of women could enjoy randomly giving away the milk without making him buy the cow. So, please, have some respect.

Fellow women - want to know how to get men to stop hating Valentine’s Day? Make it free. Free him of the torture of buying you a gift or a fancy dinner. Be the first on your block to reward your First Dude with this Get-Out-of-Valentine’s Day-Free Card.

MY PLAN

HIM: All he has to do is come home, take a shower and follow you into the bedroom (Believe me you will get no argument).

YOU: All you have to do is all the work; but you’re used to it. Valentine’s Night, you cannot go wrong giving him his own private Victoria’s Secret fashion show. “But Granny,” you’re whining, “what if I look more like Kirsty Ally than Paris Hilton?” Not a problem. Two things all men like (whether they know it or not) - black and lace. Comes in all sizes. Still too fat? There’s an app for that – it’s called the 25-watt bulb.

Trust Granny on this: Spice it up and he will be like putty in your hands and vice versa. After your show, let nature take its course and a good time will be had by all. Spice it up and Valentine’s Day will become BOTH your favorite holiday! Spice it up! ***

Palin's Crib Notes

2010-02-09T06:28:00.000-08:00

So many current events this week that could have been cartoons - but then the MOST recent is always the best. I'm sure I'm one of many who will be taking off on this delicious idea. And we're all glad Palin's back! She can deliver, at least where comedy is concerned.

Underwear Bomber

2010-02-04T08:20:00.000-08:00

After taking criticism for Miranda-ing the Underpants Bomber, I LOVED the recent news that the whacko sang like a bird after Obama sent for his parents. So much for Bushie-Woo waterboarding!

Biggest problem was getting 5 people and lots of dialogue into such a small space. Took me all day. Now I just noticed the table is wrong. Well, I hope you laugh anyway.

Toyota Recall

2010-02-02T06:24:00.000-08:00

Once I settled on the Toyota recall as my event d jour, I toyed with the idea of a car driving off a cliff and their cell phone playing a message from the Toyota My Car Won't Stop helpline, but that became a joke about the hell of phone menus.

Then I tried Thelma and Louise driving off the cliff, but everybody remembers they were in a Mustang so that was out.

Then I thought about the talking cars in the Disney movie and what they might say. Did I get a chuckle? I hope so.

State of the Union

2010-01-28T07:44:00.000-08:00

My favorite editorial cartoons are those that combine two current events. Here I mixed Obama's triumphant State of the Union message last night with the image of the darling Haiti boy who was pulled from the rubble after a week.

HAUNTING ME: Was it a mistake to use a 10 day old image? Have people forgotten? Do I watch way more 24 hr news than the average person and not everybody saw this boy?

Love your comments! Karyl

24 HR. News Monster

2010-01-26T07:57:00.000-08:00

Hardest thing about doing current events cartoons is the events become dated right after you finish the drawing. For instance: I had to change the titles on the "food" this AM. Haiti was always on the top - being the first story we will abandon. The second food I had was JUICY BOOK O POLITICAL GOSSIP. The third was LOVE-CHILD DNA. And the fourth was TIGER SPOTTED. I better post this before another news story along.
Thanks for your comments!

Final PLAN B ... for now

2010-01-18T17:01:00.000-08:00

Video: See Beany and her young stud muffin Jack skate.

http://www.youtube.com/karylsvideos

Yes fiends, this is the last installment of PLAN B... for now!

What's going to happen with Beany and her young crush?

Well there's lot's more to that story!

But as of Friday I'm going to begin posting (on GoComics.com) Beany's

PLAN B backstory because there are so many new PLAN B subscribers.
Let me know if you want off the Email list - no hard feelings.

Thank you for your many comments and Emails of encouragment. ( MORE)

Now - in answer to the questions Is Jack, Jack? And is Beany me?
Well, yes and no. Jack and I DID meet at a roller skating rink and yes,
that's us skating in the video. Another fiftish woman skater friend said
that "the spinning guy," kept watching me. I happened to be wearing
a little plaid skating skirt. I later found out a "Catholic schoolgirl on skates,"
was Jack's greatest sexual fantasy. I decided he was too young, but still kept
watching him too, and eventually I got over it.

Stay tuned

Karyl

Haiti Quake

2010-01-12T23:41:00.000-08:00

Hi friends,
Thought I'd take another occasional crack at topical subjects, so here's the first one I've done in a year!
Karyl

San Diego Snowman

2009-12-17T21:26:00.000-08:00

San Diego Snowman

Took this a few days ago on our beach. Ain't he cute?

Plan B week 1

2009-11-14T13:29:00.000-08:00

Friends, Beany's story "The Plan B" continues, but for those who have not seen it,

I am posting the original 6 weeks here so you can catch up. Your feedback is so

important to me. I'm dying to know if you find the characters and story compelling,

so keep those comments coming. TIA! Karyl

CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE!

Halloween Pumpkin 2009

2009-10-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

Here's a pumpkin Jack and I created for Nicks at the Beach 2009 Pumpkin Carving Contest. Of course we're from the Non-Violent Mr. Potato Head School of Vegetatian pumpkin carving, so we're not sure if we won or were disqualified.
GORY DETAILS
Hair = carrotts
Eyes = potato slices
Pupils = prunes
Nose = cucumber
Mouth = red pepper slice
Teeth = Scallions
Ears = orange slices
Earrings = mushrooms
Eyebrows = scallion tops
Goatee = broccoli

The competators (could be the four finalists!
Pumpkin on end is a pig.

Notice the resemblance?

One Happy Governor

2009-06-25T20:57:00.000-07:00

Plan B - 6 weeks beginning today

2009-05-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

All 6 weeks of Plan B are finished and await your comments. Thank you for your many kind words and support of this idea and character. It's been a blast! Please go to http://www.comicssherpa.com/site/feature?uc_comic=csfhy&uc_full_date=20090420
to rate it, leave comments or sign up for daily free delivery of all 36 days. THE MORE, THE MERRIER!
TIA Karyl

Plan B on my wall

2009-04-30T10:31:00.001-07:00

36 days of Plan B.
Today wallpaper, tomorrow, a syndicated strip?

Plan B - Beany's Nightmare

2009-02-24T08:03:00.005-08:00

Beany has a nightmare after running into a former co-worker. I really appreciate your comments so keep um coming! Karyl

Plan B - Beany's Job Interview #3

2009-02-23T15:09:00.001-08:00

Recessionally challenged Beany is trying to hold her own in a job interview.

Plan B - Beany's Interview part 2

2009-02-19T19:15:00.000-08:00

Hi Friends, CLICK TO ENLARGE.
Here's the second installment of my new webcomic strip "Plan B." about a recessionally challenged downsized copywriter living in beautful beachy San Diego. I 'm mixing it in occasionally with my daily ed. webcomic "American Toon" since they are sort of related in subject matter. Comments are welcome! Karyl

Plan B - Beany's Job Interview

2009-02-17T21:53:00.000-08:00

Introducing my new occasional webcomic strip "Plan B." the adventures of a recessionally challenged downsized copywriter hanging on by the shorthairs in beautiful beachy San Diego. Any resemblence to me is purely coincidental. Trust me, I COULD make this up. Let me know if you're at all intrigued. CLICK PIC to enlarge. Hit back button to return and leave comment. Thanx. Karyl

Stimulus Signed

2009-02-17T07:05:00.001-08:00

Obama's Presidents Day

2009-02-16T08:29:00.000-08:00

Pelosi Valentine

2009-02-14T09:05:00.000-08:00

Obama Valentine

2009-02-13T07:28:00.000-08:00

Lincoln's Birthday

2009-02-12T05:28:00.000-08:00

How Obama Can Win Republican Votes

2009-02-11T06:20:00.000-08:00

HOW OBAMA CAN WIN REPUBLICAN VOTES
by
Karyl Miller
MillerReport.blogspot.com
2.11.2009

Okay this is going to sound really stupid, but I’ve figured out an obvious and simple way to get Republicans to vote with Democrats on the Stim Package (and everything else from now on)! My first thought was Obama missed his big chance at his Bi-Partisan Super Bowl party: He should have fed the Repubs Ecstasy laced nachos. But then I realized A. They would have slept it off by voting time, and B. There’s probably some law against it, and C. The Republicans shouldn’t have been invited to Obama’s party at all.

What - say you? Exclusion’s not the Democratic way! We’re the truly bi-partisan ones – or aspire to be. That’s what we love Obama; he embraces his enemies. I admit I know bupkes about Washington. But applying the show business logic I learned in the trenches of Hollywood, I’m guessing what really happens in congress, happens away from congress with a Jim Beam in your hand. Being invited to the best parties is the coin of the realm. Before the Bi-Partisan White House Super Bowl party, I can just imagine the jockeying, the Emails and gossip about who was and who wasn’t going to be invited. I’m surprised cell phone towers didn’t melt just from the activity.

Just think of the parent brownie points you could earn for bringing your offspring to the White House to eat pizza and chill with the First Daughters! That’s something they can brag about at Show and Tell for the next 70 years. “I was part of history at the first Obama White House Super Bowl Party. Nya.” Nya, indeed.

COOL PARTIES AT THE White House are Obama’s ace in the hole and he’s been squandering it, bending over backwards and being nice to his enemies… and what good did it do? Why should Republicans who DON’T vote with Obama be rewarded with the same cool party invitations as people who DO vote with him?

Let’s face it everybody: A beer with the boss is a golden opportunity. From now on I say make the Republicans work for their invitations. The RULES: If you want to be part of the IN crowd, you’ve got to kiss up to us, like voting our way.

Were the three Republicans who voted for the Stimulus Package guests at Obama’s Super Bowl Party? If so, they and only they understood the true meeting of Quid Pro Quo. All others who partook of the bi-partisan guacamole and voted No should be taken off the White House invitation list immediately! No more kicking back with the most powerful man on the planet. No more pitching your state’s particular stimulus needs over a brewski with the leader of the free world. As Heidi would say: You are out!

So that’s my Bi-Partisan Congressional Unity Plan. Note to the WH party planning person: Delete all Republicans (except the three who voted with us) from all future parties until they learn their lesson.

--30--

Economic Stimulus Package #4

2009-02-10T05:18:00.000-08:00

Believe It or Not - Mom of Six

2009-02-09T06:07:00.000-08:00

Mom of 6 Has 8 More

2009-02-06T13:14:00.000-08:00

Economy - Americans Cut Back

2009-02-05T08:55:00.000-08:00

Friends I hope this isn't another head-scratcher. Jack was not even mildly amused, but he didn't know what the grotto referred to. I think it's funny, but then, I made it up. How about you? Do you get it? PS Thanx for your previous input. Luv yer comments! Karyl

The Presidency Day 16

2009-02-04T05:31:00.001-08:00

Folks this 'toon came out of a discussion Jack and I had last night. Dying to know what you make out of this image. TIA for your comments. Karyl

Job losses

2009-02-03T06:27:00.000-08:00

Phelps - Breakfast of Champions

2009-02-02T08:44:00.000-08:00

Vaginas, Brains NOT Communicating?!

2009-02-02T07:43:00.000-08:00

Vaginas, Brains NOT Communicating?! *
By
Karyl Miller
2/2/2009
MillerReport.blogspot.com

Do Women still say no when their vaginas say yes? And, could the reverse be true? I recently read an article in the New York Times about a university study done to determine the human mind-genitalia connection. For the test, men wore some sort of wiener-shaped device with electrodes attached. Women had an electrode straw inserted you-know-where.

Anyway, once wired-up and plugged in they were shown short sexy videos. Their physical arousal levels were then measured (and here’s where the test gets In-terrresting) while subjects were asked to simultaneously rate their own mental arousal levels.
Men’s and women’s connections between their brains and their genitalia was then analyzed by a team of crack scientists (no pun intended).

THE RESULT: Men’s brains and penises were in 100 % complete agreement, whereas women were all over the map and often rated themselves as not horny despite their vaginas/electrodes saying “Me want nookie nookie now!” (And I’m paraphrasing here.) Somebody got big bucks university grant money to find out SCIENTIFICALLY that a woman isn’t governed by her crotch?! To which I say Duh! I kid you not. Folks, I couldn’t make this stuff up!

To review: A lab monkey or in this case a woman, has a foreign object buried in her most private, sensitive and damp region which connects to something e-lec-trical? She’s lying in a cold, sterile, brightly lit hospital-y lab. She’s wearing (one assumes) no bottoms of any kind. She’s supposed to watch porno videos and surrender to her lust while a cadre of scientists wait breathlessly on the other side of the glass for her muffin to heat up. And she wasn’t mentally aroused?

Science wants to know: If the vagina says yes and the brain says no, Why? Every woman knows if your brain says no, it probably has a very good reason. No matter how cute our vagina thinks a guy is – our brain says “Wait. Be careful. First find out if the monkey is tamed.” It’s common knowledge that for a woman’s brain and vagina to be in complete agreement, everything must be perfect: Lights down low. Door locked. Sheets clean. Music soft. TV off. Everyone freshly showered. Dog outside. Nobody ate onions or beans. She doesn’t feel bloated or fat. Etc. Etc. Etc.

There was study a bunch of years ago (you can Google it – I don’t have time) where they found out that men thought about sex every 12 seconds whereas women thought about sex every New Year’s Eve. My theory about why men think about sex so much more often: Men look at and touch their wee wees every day to pee so they’re constantly reminded of sex. Conversely, women never see their genitalia unless they squat over a hand mirror. I haven’t seen mine in years. There’s no reason to look.

Next time a university wants to throw millions of research dollars at the subject “What Women Want,” they can just give me a call. I’ll tell them everything they want to know for half the price.

*No facts were checked in the writing of this article.

--30--

Economic Stimulus Bill

2009-01-30T07:40:00.000-08:00

Were the Huxtables THIS boring?

2009-01-29T07:19:00.000-08:00

Were the Huxtables THIS boring?
by Karyl Miller
1/29/2009
MillerReport.blogspot.com

As all writers/couch potatoes and shut-ins know - when a story we’ve been following 24/7 on CNN winds down there’s a horrible letdown. So bye - bye Palin. Bye - bye W and all the big bad Bushies. I wanted them to go. Nay, I PRAYED for them to be gone. But now that they’re history, well, I miss them. These were assholes you could count on for your morning cup O’ rage, which I needed to draw my cartoon about. Now that our side got elected, I’m lost. Forgive me, but I have no experience in NOT being mad as hell all day.

Inauguration Day was like Christmas for Democrats. There were parties. Everybody was so stoked. But now Christmas is over and sadly, everything is going our way. We’ve had a fantastic first week: Gitmo’s closing; teaching contraception in 3rd world countries is allowed again; the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act was signed this AM by the President - yay! Things could not be better (or more boring). And what we are left with are the smart, beautiful and charming Huxtables – I mean Obama family. What’s a curmudgeon cartoonist to do?

--30--

First Daughters

2009-01-28T07:31:00.000-08:00

Hi Friends, I'm trying a new look today - more like typical ed. 'toons

seen in the newspaper. What do you think? Karyl

Stimulus Package II

2009-01-27T07:52:00.001-08:00

Friends, Thank you for all your comments - both positive and negative, so keep 'em coming. Do it here http://www.millerreport.blogspot.com .
I made it even easier. Karyl

Stimulus Package

2009-01-26T07:40:00.000-08:00

American 'Toon cartoon # 4

2009-01-23T08:10:00.000-08:00

American 'Toon cartoon # 3

2009-01-22T07:28:00.001-08:00

Yup, apparently the White House is still haunted...

American 'Toon cartoon #2

2009-01-21T16:24:00.000-08:00

Love your opinions. Keep 'um coming! Karyl

American 'Toon cartoon #1

2009-01-20T18:54:00.000-08:00

Yes it's me and I'm back at it! I do this for the feedback so PLEASE leave a comment on this website. Just click Comments and type in the little box provided! It's

that easy. TIA Karyl

Beyond The Palin Cartoon # 41

2009-01-16T08:52:00.000-08:00

Hi Folks,

I just couldn't resist. Is it bad taste? I thought since nobody was killed in the crash it was funny, or at least timely.

Karyl

Yes We Did cartoon # 40

2009-01-14T13:50:00.000-08:00

Hi friends! Thanks to all of you who wrote and said you missed me and my 'toons. I'm back, but not on a daily basis. But I am SO HAPPY, SO HOPEFUL that the horrible reign of the assholes, liars, torturers, war profiteers and ignorers of our Constitution is OVER! I love your comments, so keep um coming. Karyl

Yes we did! cartoon # 39

2008-11-04T20:05:00.001-08:00

Beyond the Palin cartoon # 38

2008-11-04T08:08:00.000-08:00