Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Is She Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

Is She Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?
Karyl Miller

Could a candidate hire a pretty actress to play the part of vice presidential candidate, and if so, how long would it take before the American public caught on?

Is the American electorate so dumbed down as consider these two right-wing tricksters? Do the Republicans think the public is THAT stupid? Well, yes, sort of – not ALL the public, just the segment of the population who just found out it’s an election year. These are the voters the spin-doctors are playing to - catering to from now till November 4 – the Undecideds.

VOTING FOR DUMMIES. Think about it: The people least qualified to lead could be elected by the people least qualified to vote. Sometimes they’re called “independents” and sometimes “Undecideds.” Haven’t they been buying gas and getting downsized all this time? Have they no opinion as to whose fault that is? So why are they still undecided? These dummies have had their heads up their asses up till now. They don’t like politics and they haven’t been paying attention. They’ve waited to catch up on current events till 60 days before the election. Do you want these knuckleheads casting the deciding votes in this election? These are the same yokels who voted for Bush. They’re casting their votes based on “facts” gleaned solely from political TV commercials! Be very afraid!

When Palin was announced as McCombOver’s running mate, I admit it, I gloated. What a gigantic miscalculation by the Republicans, I thought. Giant mistake by McCain. But now I worried. Why? Because the Dummies are even considering her seriously. And at 73, Gramps has one foot in it, statistically speaking.

Like Palin, I’m a fairly good executive, speech giver, a hockey mom and a MILF. Does that mean I’m qualified to LEAD A NATION should anything happen to Gramps? Wouldn’t that be the very definition of preposterous?

Every Demo I know, including myself, was and is totally energized by the idea of the Joe Biden/Barack Obama mating. The black Kennedy and the seasoned statesman. Wow! Smart good guys in the White house for a change. No more C students and sons of rich dads.

But the American public wants their leaders molded in their own image - someone they can have a beer with while their trailer is being fumigated, and I’m no different. I want a president just like me. I want a Blackberry president. I want a president who gets it techno-wise. Anybody who isn’t as connected as me, who can’t settle an argument by Googling the facts using his cell phone, ISN’T qualified to lead, IMHO.

When you need your young pretty wife to fetch you your Email – you just might be a too old guy. If you can’t figure out how to get your photos off your camera to your computer – sorry but you’re just NOT getting my vote, Gramps! You’re not smart enough. You’re not up to speed. Computing makes everybody sharper and more informed. We don’t need another dimwit who calls it “The Internets,” Enough electing folksy guys who don’t WANT to clutter their cowboy hats with details about “downloading,” and which ones are the Sunnis again and where exactly their towel head - freaking borders are. You’re just not smart enough!

Call me shallow, but if all I get to know about Palin is what I see, then that’s all I can talk about till after this gal finishes her crash course in foreign policy. Every man I know commented that Palin reminds them of the actress in the porno who takes off her glasses, shakes out her bun and goes from secretary to stripper in 2 seconds flat. Are we now casting our votes based on our sexual fantasies?

Visually, the McCain – Palen combo reminds me of the old New Yorker cartoons by Arno. Remember the drawings of the short old rich guy in a tux escorting a beautiful young showgirl – usually with her hair swept up like Palin’s? Big hair goes against everything Democratic women are about. I did wear my hair like Palin’s, but that was when the Edsel was considered a cool car. I stopped outlining my lipstick when Twiggie retired. Do they still make bobby pins? I thought the environmentalists outlawed hair spray. Did Ivana Trump open a chain of beauty salons? I had NO idea! Do retro hairdos signal retro values? Apparently so. Is this getting too personal, too nasty?

And speaking of nasty -- Remember Ann Richards’ sassy reading of the line “Poor George Bush. He can’t help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.” That was funny, it was a joke but it wasn’t nasty. Palin’s sarcastic put-downs, delivered day after day, singsong style are downright nasty. Aren’t the Republicans getting sick of it? Why do they still laugh heartily at one-liners we’ve all heard ten times since their convention?

Sara Palin may be smarter than a fifth grader and certainly more cunning. And Palin is as qualified to become president as Harriet Miers was qualified to sit on the Supreme Court and Brownie was qualified to run FEMA and Gonzales was qualified to be the attorney general. The Republicans always appoint in a downward direction because they have weak egos and don’t ever want to be challenged or feel threatened. But that’s just my opinion. Am I right?