Friday, October 03, 2008

Miller Report: VP Debate: She Was Strong, She Was Invincible, She Was Acting

Miller Report: VP Debate: She Was Strong, She Was Invincible, She Was Acting

VP Debate: She Was Strong, She Was Invincible, She Was Acting

VP Debate
Palin: She was Strong, She was Invincible, She was Act-ing!
by Karyl Miller

HELP: I’m trapped in a Frank Capra movie and I can’t get out!

In 1939 Frank Capra directed one of the most popular populist movies of all time. In “Mister Smith Goes to Washington,” Jimmy Stewart, an average midwestern Joe, conquers corruption in Washington. You remember -- the kind of movie where your heart beats out of your chest with the wish that the Hollywood Ending were true?

Okay, well -- that was a loooong time ago. We know more now. We’re more sophisticated. We’re more cynical. Today we know the average jerk has a snowball’s chance in hell of becoming a celebrity -- that is, unless he has a YouTube account.

Ever since Kato Kalin, the division between the anonymous and the famous has become blurred. Every day another schmo, Joe or Josie Six Pack, becomes a media celeb. I blame American Idol and amateur internet porn. Thanks to that, any schlemiel can become celebrated with no merit whatsoever, or little merit if you count dressing a moose.

Open Confession to Katie Couric:
Katie I never forgave you for leaving Today, so I have rooted for you to fail as an anchorman. However, today I salute you for gently sticking it to Gov. Elusive!

Back in the old days, we used to say “Sisterhood is Power.” Well guess what? It STILL IS. So thank you Katie and Tina Fay and Amy Poehler! Keep it up! Comedy is a great revealer of truth. I also thank the women on the View for nailing McCain after he acted really, really Cheney-ish and lied to their faces.

Open Challenge for Second Vice-Presidential Debate!
I STILL have questions that didn’t get asked during the 1st VP debate --
questions only a career woman can ask another career woman; just like only a Jew can ask a Jew certain questions.

Need To Know PALIN FAQs. (Just the Facts Ma’m!)

Q. Who’s raising your kids while you play White House?

Q. Are you on birth control or are you going to pop one out of the oven every 10 months?

Q. Have you ever had PMS and if so, how bad?

Q. How do you put on model perfect eyeliner when you cannot see without your glasses?

Q. Will you release your most recent Lens Crafters prescription?

Q. Is there an actual Republican speech impediment where you guys can’t pronounce nuclear or are you all just copying the President so he seems less the dunce?

Q. Your spin-doctors keep saying you’re “The Most Popular Governor in America.” Why? I just Googled “Most Popular Governor in America,” and on the first page no less than 9 governors made that claim.

Q. And finally, forgetting McCain’s advanced age and reoccurring cancer possibly leading to his imminent death: How do we know you’re not going to “accidentally” shoot/kill him after an unusually wild inaugural ball? How do we know you haven’t already grown to hate the bully who famously and publically called his wife the C word?