Thursday, February 11, 2016

Hillary Can Win By Doing This One Simple Trick...

Hillary can win by doing this one simple trick …Wear the same outfit twice!  Sure it sounds shallow, because it is.  Commenting on the female candidate’s appearance is a sin, especially if you’re a pioneer femi-nazi libtard like me.  But if Hillary is wondering why more young women and more ordinary women aren’t relating to her, well, her endless fashion show of beautiful, butt-covering jackets could be one reason.  Every day, she’s decked out in at least $2000 (my estimate) worth of gorgeous brand-new mature CEOess outfits.  Dare I mention her stunning, perfectly coordinated Statement necklaces?  Yes, they’re fabulou$! I can’t stop myself from wondering who gets Hillary’s hand-me-downs.

It’s hard to be dressed for success these days because everyone is more casual, including the candidates. Do clothes still make the man? We can’t unsee the image of a paunchy Ted Cruz with a plaid shirt precariously stretched over his pillowy midsection.  Dressing casual isn’t for everybody.  Do you want to see Hillary in Carly’s low-rise skinny jeans?  (I apologize for planting that visual in your mind). 

Still, I get where Hillary’s coming from.  A collection of sharp clothes is one of the perqs of earning the big bucks, plus you’re expected to wear sharp clothes for your high-level job.  For the female exec, it’s the vicious cycle of work, shop, work, shop.

Elizabeth Warren is the most perfectly dressed female politician.  She’s mastered the art of being practical with just the right amount of pizzazz.  Warren wears the same basic black pants and black top every day, but she tops it off with collection of brightly colored short mandarin jackets – all the same exact style.  It’s almost a uniform.  Wouldn’t you know Elizabeth Warren doesn’t waste any time choosing an outfit in the morning?  That’s so very Elizabeth Warren.

Another fashion example: Nancy Pelosi. She’s rich.  She could easily put on a fashion show every day if she wanted to.  Instead she wears beautiful mannish pantsuits and same beautiful jade necklace over and over again.  Looks great.  Looks successful enough.

If Hillary hopes to attract more women: NO NEW OUTFITS till November.  She should start wearing each outfit at least 20 times; like a normal woman does so that she can divide the cost of the outfit by the number of times she will wear it in order to justify her guilt. Votes will follow.